The Loss of my Dog and the Future of my Blog

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On July 21st, my family and I suffered the devastating loss of our beloved Kona. It’s been an extremely hard time in my household and we have some very upset humans and furbabies. Kona was going to be 9 years old on September 25th and from what my husband and I have researched, that is such a great age to reach in the life of a Boxer. Kona was the best dog! He was my first dog. When I moved in with my husband, I also moved in with Kona and his Boxer sister, Katana. Kona was just such a bear and was the best most well-behaved dog. He never barked, always took care of his brothers and sisters, and loved Kaia. He didn’t mind when she would plop down on him and he always accepted her kisses. He just had a presence that made you love him so much! He made you feel better just being in the same place as him. He will forever be missed!

Everything happened so quickly. He seemed just fine and then on the night of July 19th, he collapsed. I chalked it up to maybe he was dehydrated because right after, he went to the water dish and chugged a ton of water. We called the vet the next morning and had an appointment made for the 24th. On the night of July 20th, he collapsed again and just looked so scared. After that episode, he went back to the water dish and chugged a ton of water again. We decided we needed to get him in much sooner at the vet and they were able to get us in the afternoon of the 21st. I was so worried about our boy that whole morning because all he would do is lay around. He didn’t even jump up and wiggle his butt when my husband walked in the door, which was not him at all.

We loaded up the car with our babies (Kaia and Kona) and went to the vet. Let me just say that the vet we go to is the most amazing woman on the planet! She sees all of our furbabies and has just been so great to all of us. She is definitely considered our extended family. Well, after doing a full check up on him, it was decided that we would do some blood work. Let me tell you… the results of the blood tests were absolutely surprising! It was found that he had an problems with his liver and kidneys, and that he either had inflammation or an infection somewhere. We all started talking about how we were going to proceed. It was then decided that she would conduct a full body x-ray to see if she could find anything definitive. It was found that our sweet boy had an enlarged heart and that it had been working way too hard for some time. He developed a tear that caused fluid to leak into his lungs. The x-ray also showed that he had severe arthritis in his spine.

HOW IS THIS ALL POSSIBLE? HE SHOWED US NO SIGNS UP UNTIL SUNDAY NIGHT THAT THERE WAS ANYTHING WRONG WITH HIM. 

Kona never let on at any point that he was in pain at all. Hearing that he had all of this going on was shocking. There was a lot of guilty feelings between my husband and I but we had to let that go because there was no way of knowing. We always get our furbabies checked and there had been no signs. It was discussed back and forth how we were going to proceed with everything and we even discussed having him stay overnight to get some IV fluids. Now, Kona had been zero energy and laid down the whole time we were at the vet, but once the topic of staying overnight came up, he actually got up and walked around the office! He even drank some water and ate some food. It was as if he was saying “Nope, you’re not leaving me here! I’m going home with my humans!”

Our vet prescribed quite a few different medications and sent us home with our sweet bear boy! We got home and gave him his medication and were hopeful that while the medication wouldn’t heal him, it would give us more time with him without him being uncomfortable. Within the next few hours, you could just see that he was getting weaker. He went outside a couple times to go to the bathroom and then lay down because he had no energy. He was breathing really heavy. I had to go outside and help him back inside each time. I laid down a couple blankets on the floor in our bedroom and he just laid there breathing so heavy and looking worried.

Not even 5 hours after being at the vet, he started really struggling. My husband and I laid on the floor with him. Then, he started slipping away from us. We held him and talked to him and told him that we loved him so much. We cried so many tears as we were saying goodbye to our precious boy. His head became heavy in my hands and he was gone. Absolute devastation.

We are still struggling with not seeing our Kona Bear every day but we know that he is not in pain anymore and that his spirit is here with us. The people who have entered our lives since he passed and who have reached out and sent their condolences are absolutely incredible and we are blessed. I’m struggling every day and have multiple moments each day where I break down and wish I could just hug him. I don’t know how long I will feel this overwhelmed with sadness, but I’m just trying the best I can to make it through each day. For myself, for Kaia, for my husband, and for our other furbabies.

I wanted to write this post because I feel it will help me with the healing process. I also wanted to discuss how my blog will be changing. As of right now, my blog is strictly product reviews. While I absolutely LOVE reviewing products, I will be a little more selective as to what products I will be reviewing because I’d like to focus on a more Mommy/Family based blog with more personal posts and select product reviews. I feel like I became so engrossed in product reviewing, that it has taken up so much of my time that could be spent with my family. This is a hobby, first and foremost, and I don’t ever want it to feel like work.

Once I’m caught up on the product reviews that I have already committed to, I will be taking a little step back from the blogging world so that I can focus my time on my family and friends. When I come back, the dynamic of this blog will be a little different. I hope you stick around and enjoy where it is going!

Thank you so much for reading this post and reading about my precious Kona Bear! I’m going to end this post with some pictures of my sweet bear boy:

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